Game Night - Truth or Dare
by summermangos
Summary: AU! Crack. Just pure crack. Rated M because some of the dares get kind of real *cough*limey*cough* Co-written with Hades' Neko; she wrote the intense*cough*limey*cough* dares. Please enjoy!


**Author's note: Crack. Just pure crack. The intense kinda parts (kiss scene and Joy's dare) was written by my friend Hades' Neko; check her out she has some pretty good stories in progress! Sorry if my grammar's horrible it's break and my brain is on zombie mode. Please enjoy this crack-tastic story! I'm only a little sorry xD**

** ~summermangos c:**

* * *

"Who's turn is it to hold game night tonight?" Hanji asks.

"Us!" Sarah excitedly replies as she leads everyone to the apartment she shared with her room mate Joy.

"Bruh, we have nothing planned!" Joy warily nudges her.

"Nah, I got this!" She goes to the kitchen as everyone gets situated in the living room, "We're gonna play the classic game of truth or dare!~ Chicken out and take a shot, or take it like a boss!"

"Oh, let's makes this interesting! You don't get the choice of truth or dare. How about they just say what they want you to do, and you have the choice whether or not to take a shot or not?~" Joy suggests, as everyone hesitantly agrees up for the challenge.

Sarah sets the empty bottle down in the middle of everyone, "Who wants to do the honor of spinning first?~" she sinisterly asks. Not a single person volunteers.

Levi sighs, "I guess I will," he replies indifferent. It lands on Erwin, "I dare you to make out to the person to your left." He says smirking, pointing to Hanji.

Erwin hesitates a moment before Hanji utters a quick, "Meh, fuck it!" and quickly, softly captures his lips with hers. Erwin stiffened under the soft feel of Hanji's lips, but he relaxed after awhile and pushed against her mouth. He opened his mouth and dragged his tongue across her soft, supple, and full lips. Slowly Hanji opened her mouth allowing Erwin to snake his warm tongue into her sweet tasting mouth. Their tongues began a war for dominance which Erwin won when he pulled Hanji's warm body against his rock hard one. After a few minutes of biting, and sucking they finally pulled apart. Breathing heavily while gazing into each others eyes and a string of saliva connecting their mouths.

"Well damn Hanji. I thought I was gonna have to get everyone to leave the apartment to give you two some alone time." Sarah said with a smirk. Blushing they both pulled away from each other.

"Good job eyebrows." Hanji said to Erwin. Her lips swollen and red from the intense make out session. He nods in acknowledgment.

"Erm okay! Erwin if you'd do the the honors of spinning the bottle so we can get this game going again!" Joy quickly says desperate to lighten the awkward tension in the room.

He spins the bottle and it lands on Sasha, "What would you like to eat right now?" Erwin asks unsure of himself.

"Springles!" Sasha yells enthusiastically.

"What?" Resounds from the room

"Did you just say your own ship name?" Joy asks face palming.

"_**Pringles!**_ I meant to say Pringles!" Sasha quickly corrects herself.

"It's too late! We all know you want to ascend Connie's tree!" Sarah retorts laughing.

"What does that even mean?!" Sasha wails, "he doesn't even own a tree!"

"It means you wanna fuck him." Levi bluntly replies. Sasha blushes deeply and starts babbling to Connie how she didn't mean to say that.

"Okay! It's okay! J-just spin the bottle!" Connie reassures her.

This time it lands on Armin, "Armin! I dare you to cook me something!" Sasha enthusiastically orders.

"Sasha you dare that every time we play this!" Armin scolds.

"Shut up and make me a sandwich!" Sasha retorts.

Surprisingly Armin quickly downs a shot of *Spirytus Polish Vodka mixed with pomegranate juice, looks Sasha straight in the eyes, "look bitch-"

"Ohhh shit. It's thugmin!" Flutters about in the room.

He gives everyone a 'seriously?' Look before continuing, "Look, I'm tired of people thinking I'm a little bitch, I'm not making you a fucking sandwich!" Ar- Thugmin wails.

Well that was.. unexpected, but it did give Joy and idea, "Time out!" she yells; before bringing over more shot glasses and a bottle of **Bacardi from the kitchen, "Let's make this even more interesting! We curse a fuck-ton, so any time someone curses- SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOTS, EVERYBODY!~" she sings the last part laughing, "Cool?" Everyone just shrugs. "Cool. Time in!"

Armin spins the bottle and it lands on Jean, "I dare you to suck Eren's toe."

"**OH GOD NO. WHAT THE FUCK?!-**" everyone downs a shot-"**THAT'S FUCKING**-" shot- "**DISGUSTING**!" Jean and Eren wail.

"Well, you can always chicken out and take a shot," Krista suggests. Jean reaches for a shot before Connie starts taunting, "Bokbokbok!"

"No! Connie what are you doing? He's a horse remember?" Sarah corrects him.

Connie laughs, "True, True. _**NEEIIGGGH!**_" Everyone laughs, and soon everyone is taunting Jean with horse noises. (Yes even Eren cause he couldn't resist not to make fun of the horse face.)

Jean finally snaps and tackles Eren, "WHAT THE FUCK!" -Another shot is downed.

Jean quickly yells, "Hold him down!" Levi and Erwin quickly grab each of Eren's arms as Connie quickly makes work of his sock. Jean slowly, very hesitantly inches towards the newly exposed big toe as Eren screams, "**NONONO!**" and kicks Connie and Jean in the face.

Joy quickly snaps his legs straight again and sits on them, so he can't move them, "Hurry up and suck horse-face!"

Jean quickly dives to Eren's toe and kinda pecks it as Eren shrieks at an ungodly high octave.

"**OH GOD WHHHYYY!**" Eren wails as he curls himself into a ball as everyone let's go, "Jooooy I trusted youuuu!"

Said girl is weak rolling around the floor (along with everybody else), "Oh- Oh my god! That was hilarious!"

"That shriek was-" Mikasa stops to stifle a laugh.

"You even got the dogs howling down the street." Levi irritatingly responds rubbing his ears. Causing Joy to laugh even harder.

Eren glares at her, "You're gonna regret this later."

"Ahaha whatever Jaeger boy~" Joy responds as the alcohol slowly starts to kick in, "Oi! Spin the bottle toe-sucker, horse-faced bitch!" Everyone takes another shot.

This time the bottle lands on Joy as Eren smirks, "Lemme say a dare in your place horse face!"

"Oh god- Sure whatever just uggh! _**WASH YOUR FUCKING FEET!**_" Jean wails as he tries to rid his mouth of the taste of Eren's feet, and everyone takes another shot.

"Alright Joy, I dare you to wear anything Hanji and Sarah want to put you in, and it has to be slightly revealing~" Eren says while smirking evilly.

"**WE GOT THIS!**" Hanji and Sarah scream while taking a hold of Joy's arms and dragging her away towards a room.

"Waaaaaaiiiiittt! **NOOOoooo**" Joy says while trying frantically to get away from the two very psychotic women. Turing towards their captive Hanji and Sarah sang,

"Don't worry Jo, we'll make you look nice and pretty."

"You mean slutty and embarrassed!" Joy wails.

"Yeah that too." Hanji and Sarah shrug. After a few more minutes of a pointless struggle from Joy, they were finally in a room and getting her changed.

"**NO FUCKING**-" shot- "**WAY!**" Joy screamed. Finally they were done and Sarah and Hanji came out the room snickering and a bag being held in Sarah's hands. Hanji tugged on something and the people realized that it was a leash. Yelping Joy was pulled into the main room and had a big rosy blush covering her cheeks and traveling down her neck.

A bunny. She wore a white corset with pink laces, white booty shorts, and white knee high socks with pink trim. On her head was a pair of white fuzzy bunny ears and a white fluffy cotton tail stuck to the back of her shorts and a bright blue collar and leash tied around her neck.

Silence. Silence was all that was heard when Joy came out of the room dressed in her... Outfit.

"Umm. So- umm.. You have to do one embarrassing thing of those twos choosing." Eren says with a rosy blush and pointing at Hanji and Sarah.

"Great! We know exactly what you have to do." Hanji said. Sarah opened the bag that was held in her hands and inside were jellybeans and other Easter type candies.

"Who should we choose?" Sarah says in a contemplating voice that was countered by the devilish smirk on her face. Both Hanji and Sarah looked at each other and in unison said, "Eren."

"What about me?"

"What about him?"

Joy and Eren say at the same time with worry and fear in their voices. Smirking, Sarah and Hanji sang, "Nothiiiing~ Now Eren. Remove your pants and shirt but keep on the underthings. No need to flash people right~?" They said with a smirk.

Blushing, Eren half asked,half whined, "_Whhy?!_"

"Because we said so. Besides you gave us control of the dare." They responded with a smirk. Pretty much drunk, Eren wasn't willing to argue and did as he was told. "Lay on your back please~~" The two sang. He silently did as he was told. "Good. Now Joy," Sarah said as she pulled out a handful of the sweets and held it out to her. Picking up one piece of candy she held it to Joy's mouth and before she could eat it Sarah continued, "just lick. Don't eat." Joy did as she was told with a confused face. Once that was done Sarah walked towards Eren's body and placed the candy on Eren's stomach. They repeated this process until there was no more candy and Eren's body was completely covered.

"Now Jo-Bunny," Hanji said she pointed towards Eren and gave one command. "Eat." Blushing, she started to walk towards Eren while cursing out Sarah and Hanji when Sarah stopped her.

"I don't know of any bunny that can walk. I believe they hop or crawl. You can choose. But just to tell you if you hop then the corset will make your breasts jiggle. Whereas if you crawl, no body parts will be jiggling too badly." She said with a smirk. Glowering Joy said with a growl, "I really hate you right now." Sarah simply smiled.

Getting down on her hands and knees, she began to crawl as a fiery red blush spread across her face. Before she got to Eren, Hanji leaned down towards Eren's ear and whispered something to him. Finally when Joy was at Eren she leaned over his body and began to eat the candies off of him. It was all sweet but with a salty kind of taste that reminded Joy of Eren. When there was only a few candies left, Eren reached his hand up and lightly brushed his hand on her stomach like Hanji told him to. A yelp left Joy's mouth and she jerked back with a shudder running down her spine. Blushing bright red she looked at Eren with a shocked face, but went back to eating the remaining candy when again his hand touched her stomach and she shuddered again. Finally when all the candy was gone, Joy got up and dashed back to the room to change while screaming, "I hate you all!" Then the door was slammed and Hanji and Sarah were laughing uncontrollably with cameras in their hands.

Eren laid there for a moment processing what just happened, along with everyone else.

"That was..."

"That was fucking" -shot- "kinky as shit!-"shot- Armin blurts out.

"Daaammn-" shot- "never knew she was a freak!" Krista adds as Ymir snuggles closer to her.

Suddenly Joy kicks the door to her room down; now wearing a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants, "Oi! Thugmin! Hand me that bottle of vodka!" She yells marching up to the blonde, and snatching it away.

"Hey! That's my bottle bitch!"

She takes a swig from the bottle and laughs manically, "I guess it's my turn huh?" She doesn't even bother to spin the bottle, "Levi! Eren! Dress in drag! Makeup, waxing your legs, eyebrows done, and I even have some outfits you could wear~" she says grinning devilishly.

"Thatsh not how thish works!" Connie slurs angrily.

"**Connie! Know your place! I am the queen of this game, your place_ is beneath my feet!_** Now I order you to run around the apartment complex in your underwear singing wrecking ball!" Joy over dramatically screams.

"Oh shit.." Everyone murmurs, not bothering to take a shot, "It's the infamous Panda thug!"

"**_Hah?!_ Who you calling a panda?!**" Joy screeches pulling out a gigantic decorative wall fan, "**You wanna go?!**"

Levi suddenly walks out of Joy's room wearing a maid outfit and cat ears, "You took too long."

"Is that your cafe uniform, Joy?" Mikasa asks.

"Hah?! Oh. It is. Daaaammmn work it Levi!~" Joy cheers.

"What kind of cafe do you work at?! I wanna work there! The uniform is so kya!" Erwin surprisingly says.

Hanji and Sarah are laughing their asses off and video taping the mess that is game night.

"_**You two.**_" Joy sternly says painting her fan at the two, "**You two shall face the wrath of the queen!**"

"Oh shit! Oh shit!" They scream trying to run away from the crazed girl, and not very well considering the fact they're all drunk off their asses.

"Woah! Just calm down we're sorry!" Hanji and Sarah wail.

Mikasa suddenly grabs one of Joy's arms, "Jooooy I want a cute outfit too!~" she whines, pointing to Levi who is posing in all sorts of fabulous ways, while Erwin takes pictures.

"Be thankful she's holding me back right-! Gah!" Joy flinches and squeals as Eren crawls up to her and headbuts her and wraps his arms around her waist, "Jooooy," he whines, "you're being to looouud!"

"Ahaha! You're red! You want to ascend that tree huh?" Hanji cheekily says.

"**HOLD ME BACK! HOLD ME BACK! THOSE BASTARDS TALKIN' SHIT IMA FUCK THEM UUUPPP!"** Joy screeches swinging her wall fan around.

* * *

_...Please stand by. This fanfic has gone to shit..._

* * *

**_Time skip to morning~_**

Everyone is scattered about the apartment living room; as the sun seeps in through the balcony window.

"Oh god. Why won't the sun shut up." Sarah groans.

"Uggh shut up!" Jean groans towards her.

"Both of you please shut up," Levi groans out sitting up, "... _**What the fuck am I wearing?!**_"

"Uggggh!" Everyone groans out as they all slowly sit up. They take a moment to look at each other. Levi was in a maid uniform, Erwin had one eyebrow missing, Sasha was cuddling Connie with Pringles surrounding them. Connie had sharpie drawings all over him. Eren was in his underwear. Joy was cuddling with her gigantic decorative wall fan, and Armin was cuddling five bottles of vodka. Everybody seemed... Relatively normal.

"_Oh god why.._." They all said in shamed unison.

* * *

*Spirytus Polish Vodka has the highest alcohol content of 96%


End file.
